Issues
by Blueberry Absinth
Summary: They would always circle each other, not unlike Sora and Kairi, not quite touching, not quite able to live without each other, like a twisted version of yin and yang... Namiku from the POV of Riku's friends


Selphie is annoyed.

Yes, she is a teenage bouncy ball of energy, yes, she loves talking, gossiping, all shushed voices and wary glances, yes, she brings a mirror everywhere she goes, yes, she looks at boys and she's everything a stereotyped teenager is but that doesn't make her stupid. Not at all.

She gets nice marks at school, not perfect but good, better than most 'smart. She rarely doesn't have an answer to a question, she gives awesome advice and manages to keep Tidus and Wakka in line. That's some accomplishment. Yet everyone thinks of her as the giddy girl from the background who can't really think, who can't really notice things.

But no, she isn't that. Sometimes she may have been pushed in the background (like, when Riku and Sora returned, she and Tidus and Wakka were left waiting for who knows how much time until Riku and Sora remembered they existed and left Kairi to see them), she can agree with that sometimes happening but in no way is she just the hyper girl who offers quick cheering up and apparently rarely thinks.

Oh, she does think and her cheering up-s are that good because she always watches and observes how everyone acts, how everyone feels and then determines what the hell they need. Comforting, gentle or not, a not-so-friendly-but-still-friendly kick in the ass so they come in touch with reality again (Tidus and Wakka and Sora need those a lot) and so on. She can see a lot.

And at the moment her stare is oriented toward Riku (not in any romantic way, of course: that's just _eww_). She watches him at school and outside, observes his behavior, his eyes as he dozes off to somewhere no one but him can actually reach. She listens to his voice, his tones and secretly enjoys the fact that he thinks he's so good at hiding secrets, that no one notices anything strange, but he is wrong.

Oh, is he wrong, Selphie laughs at him. She can see through him perfectly.

After a year of absence and not a word that they're okay, he and Sora return, all battered and grown up, eyes and stance different (sometimes, she wonders how she's not thought of her two missing friends and feels guilt but that's the way things are and she shouldn't feel guilty). They hold themselves differently, like some warriors from old times. Sometimes she feels intimidated by them, their bodies towering much over her.

She imagines faraway lands, magic and fairytales, just the two of them together and giggles at the potential.

But, sadly, before she can _really_ squeal and her brain can think of the young misunderstood forbidden romance of two boys, two best friends, who'd scored the world and saw everything together, she notices something that shatters all her hopes for male romance.

Riku aces all the tests while Sora gets just enough to pass. That would be a minor detail but, to anyone willing to think over such idiocies (namely, Selphie), that is the key to one fact that kills her a little on the inside. After a twisted train of logic, she decides that Riku and Sora have spent last year separated from each other.

Had they been together, when they return, they ought to have the same school marks, be they good or bad. Had they been together, they would have had the same (lack of) mentors. But no, their behaviours are far different, their reactions, everything, she reasons with herself; apparently their development as people is far different for them to have been together on some gay adventure.

That detail, no matter how stupid it would be, clears a lot of the haze, fallen on her mind and she's gotten some of the confusion away; Selphie pats herself on the back for being such a good Sherlock Holmes.

(She mourns at the loss of the young love whose beginning she'd observed once, long, long ago and watches wistfully the two boys, who still have their arguments, fights but they seem to have changed – there's no fire in their relationship; no dynamic, no hate-love: rather, Riku seems downcast, as if mourning. Then, after some moping in her room, she continues the quest to learn what has happened to Riku.)

More so, Riku's broken-hearted.

At first, Selphie thinks it's because of Sora and Kairi (who are really stupid by the way: they never face the truth, always evade, always seem to orbit around each other, never quite touching, never quite being able to live without the other. All they need is one of them to take the first step – and no one is taking it).

That thought, more like her intuition talking rather than her logic, gives evidence that she's right on the Sora-Riku question and Riku's faded infatuation with Kairi.

But no, Selphie later decides, Riku isn't broken-hearted because of Sora or Kairi (which in turn breaks her heart; she'd have adored some love triangle action). No, there's someone else, someone who has stolen Riku's heart swiftly, then disappeared and left him like that, with a painful throbbing wound. Someone who's taught him something and in turn was taught something by him.

She can almost see it: the slow, stony path, leading to trust and understanding between Riku and the shady girl (or boy; it could be). How it developed from 'just strangers', to 'friends who understand each other' to 'maybe something more, have we had more time'. She can see the countless arguments, the quirks of the two and everything; how Riku has tried to maintain that cool attitude of his when she was slowly disappearing from his life, yet while breaking on the inside. And while she makes it sound like some kind of soap opera, it hadn't been like that; it had been slow, the change of two withdrawn characters, coming to see that the present and future would be very different so they might as well enjoy the parade.

They would try to create something more between them but then guilt would settle in their minds and they would withdraw again into themselves, circling each other, not unlike Sora and Kairi, not quite touching, not quite able to live without each other, like a twisted version of yin and yang. Like an ocean: low tide, high tide, low tide, high tide… And then forever low tide.

But that's all in Selphie's head, all dreams and female intuition but Selphie knows better than to not trust her intuition. However, said proverbial intuition has made mistakes before and she tends to over-romanticize things so she decides to forget the basics of finding about X's love life (line ten in the Truest catalogue of rules for pseudo-Sherlock Holmes-s) and one day, after school she confronts little depressed Riku.

"Spill the beans, Silver head."

Startled, the boy turns to her and eyes her with a strange look in his eyes. His frame is enormous, she barely reaches his chest but, still, she tries to look down on him. And quite succeeds.

"What are you talking about?" he asks carefully, confused to no end but relaxed. Selphie grins as she realizes that he has no idea of the extent of what she knows. Oh, how she loves making people suffer.

"Your crush. When will you tell us who's your crush?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says, but it's too quick, too stuttering to be true and Selphie smirks as she notices that he's tensed, each muscle ready to fight – fight what?

(She notes with sudden fright how much he resembles those knights from the old stories much more than usual, fearsome and loyal, and imagines a blonde damsel in distress, much like the ones in the same old stories, as Riku's love interest).

"Ohh, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Selphie drawls lazily, feeling like a wild cat that's cornered its prey and is now playing with it. It's just so _exhilarating_, "You are away for one year and a little and, when you return, you never look at girls as girls. It's obvious that you're feeling guilty. So, who's the girl?"

Her reasoning sounds weak for such a worldly love story, even to her but, sadly, Riku wouldn't understand the complex mechanisms of her mind so she can't really say what's really been on her mind.

Riku in turn cocks an eyebrow, eyes amused in way Selphie doesn't like.

"So, just because I don't run after girls, I have to have a crush? You know, I wasn't like that before. Or did you forget about that?" he asks, as if humoring her, but she notices that he flinches a little. Just a little tiny bit but it's still a flinch. Aha!

But still, she wrinkles her nose at him, annoyed that she has to use that card.

"But back then, you did have a crush. Now, I see that you've gotten over it and haven't looked at a girl for quite some time now," he snorts and tries to say something but she continues, not caring about what he says, "Are you afraid? Or just gay?"

To say the last thing surprises him, is an understatement. He stutters, without actually saying anything, looking as her as though she's grown a second head, eyes bulging out of their sockets.

"W-what?"

Selphie giggles slightly, then decides that the conversation is going nowhere, Riku isn't going to answer her (what was she thinking anyway – that he'd say everything? Pfft) and waves at him bye-bye as she hops away, leaving the poor boy confused to no end, her mind already working on new strategies how to make him tell her everything that has happened in his love life the last year. She has a right to know.

Little does she know how right and how wrong her imaginations are at the same time.

xX…Xx

Another new and weird thing Selphie has noticed about Riku is that he hates mirrors. He loathes them; looks away every time the girl (or boy) he's talking with, pulls out a mirror.

Selphie wonders why as she watches the reflection of her little mirror dance on the ceiling. The sun's bright, shining right on her poor head so the reflection is bright too, part of the ceiling lighter than the rest.

Most probably he is conscious of his image (maybe; there are vain boys, after all). But then again, it's official (all of the Sexiest Boy In The School awards have gone to him) that he's far too amazing to be vain. But, on the other side, it might be his vanity that is the cause for the beauty that captures so many girls (aside from her, she hasn't met her prince yet). Off, it's too confusing!

Suddenly, giggling like the teenage high school girl she is, Selphie decides that she might as well amuse herself during the boring lesson; slowly she brings down her mirror, so the reflection of the light stays just at Riku's temple. She watches him as he notices her antics and sighs and pretends to ignore her (but he can't really), and suddenly decides that, no, he isn't vain. He just has a mirror phobia.

Still giggling, she wonders how his (former?) girlfriend (who's still a secret) would react to him getting shot in the temple. Would she cry her eyes out or would she set out to revenge her love? Would she succeed in her revenge? Would she feel satisfied by her revenge?

(Yes, Selphie reads too much romance books and is loving every minute of it.)

A sudden spasm of her hand moves the reflection in Riku's eyes and he finally turns to glare at what she's been doing for quite some time now. She grins at him as they lock eyes and he scowls, much like the old Riku who'd always be attentive in class so he can get the best marks and beat Sora.

(An almost nostalgic smile appears on her face but Selphie never regrets anything and she won't regret the loss if the old Riku because Riku is still Riku even if he's sadder and quieter and spends a lot more time with Kairi and Sora as if trying to apologize, to compensate for something. )

Selphie grins at his scowl, then decides she's bored, turns her attention to the teacher and shows her great anatomy skills as she moves the mirror so that special place at the back of his neck is lit. Тhe one which, when hit, puts you to sweet slumber.

When the classes end, she gets out quickly, her mirror in hand, giggling as she tries to evade Riku, who's pretty annoyed by now, always almost succeeding to escape but always being seen again. This goes on for some time but in the end, Riku manages to catch up with her. At this moment, she stops grinning and her hand grasps the mirror even more.

They walk a few minutes in silence but soon Riku starts getting fidgety, as if wanting to say something but not being able to form whatever's on his mind. Selphie just grins and pats him on the back like the good but often forgotten friend she is but then something happens.

No one is actually able to see what exactly happened.

At the beginning Selphie is patting Riku's shoulder but, in the next, someone's showing her aside, almost dislocating her arm and throwing her in the big crowd. However, she manages to keep her stance and not get minced by random passersby. But, sadly she drops her mirror and it falls to the ground, shattering into tiny little glittering pieces. The same person who pushed her, disappears into the sea of faces.

The others barely notice the ruckus but a small makeshift open place is formed around her – or around the broken mirror – and Riku is still here, eyes scraping over the broken, glittering pieces. He looks ready to fight again but this time it's far more serious, oh it really is. His face is frightened (Selphie is vaguely scared of that: Riku is never frightened. Ever); his eyes glint with the multiple reflections from the broken pieces.

Before she can do anything however, he stands up quickly and disappears like a fire going out.

Selphie curses quietly and starts collecting the bigger pieces of her beloved now-broken mirror, careful not to draw blood.

xX…Xx

_Riku had brought her a mirror and Naminé, acting like the girl she was, was spending a lot of time in front of it, looking at herself, as if searching for something that should be there, but wasn't. He watched her at those times, amazed how she can look like a princess of old just with the right background – in this case, an old mirror with a flowery frame._

_Riku loved being in the little room they were in at the moment. It carried a certain out-of-touch-with-reality atmosphere and he wanted just that – a break from reality, from the incoming future, in a haven, safe from the waves of time. _

_He was sure that this room would remain the same even if he returned to it after million years. That was its magic. _

_(He knew DiZ would laugh and say it was preposterous and unbelievable but Riku shook his head and hoped that DiZ someday learned that the world wasn't always just numbers and equations.)_

"_Riku."_

_Naminé always called his name softly, as if afraid to say it. Because of that impression of his, Riku never answered her with a scowl, as he used to do a lot, but a small smile and a cocked head. He had started that because of pity toward her history but then it had evolved into true care._

_She didn't turn, nor move, just stood in front of her mirror and regarded the reflection with female scrutiny._

"_Do two reflections make the original?" she finally asked, confusing him to no end. Why would she ask that? How would she come up with this? _

"_No," he deadpanned, despite his confusion and everything, "A reflection is a reflection, something different than the original. Why are you asking?"_

_She visibly relaxed (he'd always known how to comfort her) and shot him a small smile through the mirror, in turn making him grin like an idiot. And though it seemed that it was now a closed conversation, his confusion and curiosity weren't sated._

"_Why are you asking?" _

"_Just curious," she lied obviously, but he didn't believe her any way; he just let a small sigh escape, figuring out what she was talking about._

_She never shut up about her being a Nobody; the same way he never shut up about completing the task he had to do in order to redeem himself. But that didn't erase his anger._

_They'd gone on and on about the 'Naminé being a Nobody' question, at least once a day but neither of them learned anything from it. He just repeated the same things and she just listened with half an ear. In the end of his lecture, she'd object, he'd get angry and storm out of the room. _

_Then, much, much later, they'd make up and happily eat what Mickey'd cooked and watch the stars. _

_But, at the moment, Riku was fed up with__this routine and getting angry. Routines weren't good in this instance: it meant that proper communication was absent between them. He sighed once again. _

"_I've told you something so many times now," he simply stood up, as silent as usual, making the shadows deeper, "I've heard it so much times and I don't appreciate that you don't listen to me."_

_Without looking at her, not waiting for her answer, he quickly got out of the room and practically ran to his room. The corridors weren't lit (damn his friend Mickey for forgetting to light the lamps), darkness was suffocating him (which was strange; darkness had always been safe, comfortable for him) and even this time, even now he was angry at Nami. He was angry at himself for being angry. And he had promised himself not to get angry at her in any given moment but apparently he couldn't keep promises even to himself. _

_But it wasn't just his fault! She shouldn't make it so easy to get angry at her. You might think that her being a small, calm girl who never put her nosy nose where it shouldn't be, would just… _be there_. You know, never being noticed, never being talked to._

_But no, Riku mused as he neared the door of his room, she just had to do it the wrong way. She just had to live such way, to have such a history, to have such a lifestyle and psychology of life that he had no way of ignoring her._

_He was in front of his door. It was dark, someone was laughing at him. His hand shook as he took hold of the handle and pressed down. _

_As he stepped in his dark room, he couldn't help but wonder how little time he'd been spending here; he'd always been with Naminé. With a sigh he decided not to dwell on it, went straight to his bed and flung himself on it._

_He lay there for a while, not moving, not thinking, not doing anything. He just lay there, watching the shadows dance on the ceiling, eyes tiredly following the lines. His mind was ordering him to stop wasting his time, to start thinking about the near future, how everything would turn out, how they would beat Xemnas but he couldn't bring himself to care. _

_He took a breath, hold like that for a second, then slowly let it out. It was a little known secret that as a child, he used to have claustrophobia. He got over it as soon as he and Sora started that fight for Kairi's affection. He used to fight it, staying in small rooms on purpose, cringing when he started feeling bad, but swallowing it up, fighting so he could get over it. For Kairi. To impress Kairi. Just to impress Kairi. _

_What an idiot he had been._

_He continued trying to breathe normally, fighting not to hyperventilate, closing his eyes, sighing at the feel of the headache coming. He was thinking too much and for nothing. Stupid idiocies from the past that ought to be forgotten._

_Vaguely he wondered what Nami was doing in her (much larger) room. Was she still drawing? Because that had happened before and he had had to literally drag her to her bed and tuck her in as if he was some mother or a father (but, deep inside, he kinda liked caring for her, looking after her which in turn made him wonder how life would be if he was father, having to always protect his child). Or had she already gone to sleep? That was a possibility. Would she feel guilty? Because he really did leave quite abruptly… _

_The room seemed smaller. _

_Riku shifted to his other arm and shivered, uncomfortable in his usually comfortable bed. With a start, he realized that the number of nights spent sleeping on Naminé's table were too much. It was… five or so days a week. Which is quite a few, he noted, amazed at her influence on him._

_(Once, he couldn't live with other people under the same roof; now he was able to _sleep _in the presence of someone else. The change was enormous.) _

_That made him feel uneasy. He hated to have someone like that, someone whom he looked up to and tried to change, no changed according to her wishes… someone to care for. _

_He turned on the other side, then on his back, restless from his realization (but really? It wasn't that surprising; he'd just put something known for a long time in mere words). Once again his eyes darted upwards to the ceiling where the shadows had gotten thicker. A sigh escaped his lips: he hated this time of night when he was awake. That time, the darkness, not the harmless one outside, but the dangerous one on the inside. He knew that he was the most vulnerable now; and he didn't like it when he was helpless._

_(Namine would have objected, she'd have said that he had never been helpless and would never be but Riku knew better.) _

_He turned again in his bed, a theory forming in his mind; there was something in his bed, something that was preventing him from getting his sleep. There was no need for his mind to remind him he was just lying to himself; he was too sure of that himself. _

_With a sigh he stood up, deciding that while he wasn't getting sleep any time soon, he might as well do something – namely, go to the bathroom. Reason: unknown. Maybe just to see his appearance and brood over the change. _

_His bathroom was small, most probably the smallest in the mansion, as per Naminé who had told him that in an attempt to cheer him up after he came home, having battled millions Heartless. It was a pretty intact room, without any space wasted. It was darker than in his bedroom. Like in the rest of the mansion, most of the things were broken or soon-to-be broken. Everything looked archaic, but without the pleasant feeling of home, like in Naminé's room. Almost all the tiles were broken or missing. Very few were still intact._

_In front of him, at the opposite wall of him, there was a mirror with chipped edges. It was a simple small mirror. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a piece of heated sand, without any fancy decorations, like the frame of her mirror. Just a blasted broken piece of junk that only brought him pain whenever he looked into it. Something that reminded him so much of himself – all sharp edges, making those who wish to come closer bleed._

_Riku sighed and decided he might as well look into it now that he'd come this far and he was that big of a masochist. _

_Step, step. Stop. Eyes going up. The reflection. _

_Golden eyes were looking at him from the other side._

_All happened in a heartbeat._

_He didn't really know but, a second after, his hand, suddenly formed into a fist, was drenched in blood and was still bleeding and there was no more a mirror in front of him._

_Strangely calm, Riku turned around, eyes scanning the newly decorated room. The mirror was in a thousand pieces, some bigger, some turned to fine powder, but each glittering piece catching what little light there was left and reflecting it in thousands spots of light on the ceiling._

_Quietly he looked up to gaze at the 'light show' which he had been given, vaguely wondering how there could be so much light in a room which had been dark up until now. Then, slowly, his eyes descended to scrutinize the pieces of the mirror he had just broken. His arm stung a little, but he didn't care; it could wait until the morning, then DiZ would fix it. It wasn't his main priority now._

_His eyes darted through the broken parts, searching for something and eventually finding it. A piece big enough to still serve as a mirror. He wasn't surprised by what he saw._

_The golden eyes were still on his face. _

_As he exited the room in a flurry of shadows and anger, Riku noted it was the first time he had ever questioned his sanity. _

_xX…Xx_

Tidus and Wakka aren't famous with their perceptive abilities. Rather, they are famous with being so bad at noticing stuff that, while being with them, Selphie face palms at least twice, no matter exactly how much time she spends with them. They are just the normal air-headed sport players: all they care about is finishing their sport, all the rules and test it out if it really will have the possibility to be a famous sport (however, the name is still to be decided, but they are leaning towards something like 'blitzball'). They really don't think about the dynamic relationships people share. They don't really notice these things. It's not like they can't notice stuff: they just don't really care. They prefer to close their eyes to other people's problems and mind their own.

One might wonder how they are friends with Selphie (who almost never minds her own business) but they are. Selphie, the secret blabbermouth she is, has told them about the change in Riku, what she thought was the change in him but they've just shrugged her off. Selphie has been following the silver-haired boy almost religiously, intent on finding out 'what had changed him so much'.

Personally, Wakka once told Tidus, he thought the only difference between the Riku now and the Riku back then was that the Riku looked a little calmer, a little more bored and a little bit lazier. But, Wakka was quick to add in then, that was part of the thing called 'growing up'.

Selphie pouts at them when they annoy her about the change in Riku and always storms away when they get over the top (a.k.a. almost always).

However, as joking as they seem to be, as ignorant of whatever passes in their friends' heads, Tidus and Wakka do get annoyed when Riku or Sora (or both) refuse to play with them. They are supposed to create the soon-to-be-the-most-famous sport! And, unfortunately, two people don't suffice: once they made perfect tag teams with Riku and Sora, two against two and everything was fine. But now, it's more like one against one.

While Wakka mops around that their sport shall never be finished simply because, Tidus, the (self-proclaimed) brain of the two, tries to think up a reason why Sora and Riku refuse to come play sport with them; how he could bring them back. Tidus thinks and thinks, watching the sea, almost absent-minded but not quite, and wonders.

There has to be a reason for them to… avoid him and Wakka. A year ago, they would be pretty much… inseparableр one might say. As fellow males, they would always be together, having 'man time', talking about 'male things' which Tidus now realizes are stupid ramblings of kids who want to grow up.

Aside from the talking, they would also play, finish their sport, try out other sports and laugh. Sometimes the girls would come too and they would get annoyed (this is their men time! Only boys are allowed!), poke fun at them when they refused to go in the water, and occasionally throw them in the sea. They would generally have fun.

And, at night, they (no matter everyone or not) would find themselves on the coastline. They would make a fire from any driftwood they find, the crackling fires in different colours warming them. Then they would either lay down, rest, gazing at the vast expanse of the stars or sit close to the fire, roast (or rather roast) marshmallows (a fairly new type of candy around here) and talk and laugh and joke around and everything would be glowing and Tidus would find himself grinning more so than usual.

(Once he saw Kairi sitting a little too close to Sora. Later, when he told Selphie, she almost burst with pride at his accomplishment.)

From time to time, Kairi or Selphie or both would drag them shopping, finally fed up with their lack of fashion sense and knowledge when to throw out a cloth. They would struggle and try to escape but not very enthusiastically – because even shopping they were having fun.

Such were those times – the only thing they cared about was fun. There were no problems then and now it's obvious that Sora, Riku and Kairi are far too serious for their own good.

That is, Tidus decides. Their three overly-serious friends need just one (or more; definitely more) friendly reunion: they just need some laughter, some serious fun. They need to act like the teenagers they are, to get their minds off what is on their mind so much it gives them worry lines.

Tidus feels proud when he explains his idea to Selphie and Wakka who almost jump from joy. He basks in the light of his genius-ness (this isn't even a word but he doesn't care at the moment) until Selphie suggests an even better plan.

Separation of the two genders. A girls' night out (or in, depending on how you view it). A guys' night out. Selphie will take Kairi somewhere out or most probably they'll go to either one of their houses. then Selphie will try to get what's happened to Riku from their red-haired friend. Kairi is far more talkative and prone to giving away secrets and much, much more perceptive than Sora. It'll be easier with her.

Wakka grins from ear to ear and claps while Tidus internally mops in figurative dark corner; after all his light spot of genius-ness is stolen away by the pure genius of Selphie. But he doesn't mop that much: Selphie calls a war meeting. They have to work to make their plan happen.

One things leads to another and they find themselves sitting in front of a driftwood fire, with Riku and Sora sitting next to them, as silent as never. The stars up there are brighter than ever but that's just because it's so quiet down here. Tidus and Wakka have tried to start a nice, flowing, not-logically connected conversation as it once was for quite some time but their efforts would all be in vain: either the other two boys would stay silent and the conversation would end up just between Tidus and Wakka or they would glance at each other with a knowing smirk, as if they were sharing an inside joke.

Wakka, as famously eloquent as he is, dubs this situation awkward.

Like a first date with a girl you've always wanted to get close with. She is always silent, not saying anything, being the nice lady she is and waiting for you to say something first. You sweat and sweat and get nervous until you say something stupid like "I like cherries". And either she a) laughs with you and the conversation gets smoother and nicer or, b) she calls you a pervert (cherry stem tying anyone?) and storms off, indignant.

But Wakka won't call this a date. First they are four, second everyone is a guy and that is just eww. However, fortunately while he doesn't know how to loosen up a woman, he has the best ice-breaker for an all-male company.

"Hey guys," the others turn to him, "What is yer dream girl like?" and without any further ado he continues on to answer his own question "My own girl would be some awesome big-breasted lady. She'd wear a black dress and belts and she'd do these weird black magics and use those voodoo dolls, ya know? And-"

He pauses to take a breath, while the others laugh at the boy's enthusiasm. Riku especially laughs with mirth in his eyes, something unseen for so much time.

"Wakka, I think I may know someone like that," the silver-haired boy grins, as if knowing something else, "Her name's Malefi- ohh, but there's one bad thing – she isn't big-breasted."

Sora snorts and starts giggling (quite girlishly, on top of that).

"M-maleficent?" then he explodes into a laughter fit, even going so much as falling on his back and continuing to roll from laughter. A smirking Riku adds in more sarcastic remarks from the side, making the poor spiky-haired boy to laugh harder. It takes them ten or so minutes to calm down.

Tidus congratulates Wakka silently, a little happy that the two boys he and Wakka've tried to open up, are laughing so loud, a little sad that they are laughing at a personal inside joke.

Damn, are those two secretive.

"What about ya, Sora?" Wakka asks just as Sora's finally calmed down and sitting normally.

"Nah, let's hear Tidus first," the brown-haired boy evades instead, now rather red. Riku and Tidus grin like idiots and Tidus starts his tale.

"Mine won't be like Wakka's. She'll be more like… shier and gentler and nicer and..." he stops for a second to think up other adjectives but apparently he can't think up of any. He hasn't really thought about a perfect girl.

"Brown-haired? A healer?" Sora adds in helpfully, knowing very well who he is thinking about.

"Yep!" Tidus agrees enthusiastically, stops for a second to think up anything else and then shrugs, "Dunno, I think that's all. What about you, Sora?

But before Sora can answer Riku butts in mockingly.

"I can bet all my money," the silver-haired boy drawled on, trying to annoy Sora and quite succeeding, "your girl has red hair, blue eyes, hmm, wears red…"

Now beet red, Sora lunges at Riku and the two of them crash and fall on the sand with a loud thud, wrestling with each other, rather serious in the fight (serious, serious, as serious as their old fights), eyes betraying that they're having too much fun. Wakka grins and joins in, acting like a little human bulldozer. And what's fun is that while Wakka has trained more and is older, the two boys overpower him with ease, somehow still sparring against each other. Tidus decides to add in some nasty remark on the situation but he's brought too, in the group of limbs and sand and fight and forgets whatever he's wanted say.

He laughs and laughs and laughs but there's one thought that keeps nagging his mind without him understanding why.

Despite them having good time, despite the laughter and everything else, Riku hasn't confided anything to them.

xX…Xx

_Despite the fact that Riku was too exhausted to even think, he just couldn't fall asleep. His hand was throbbing quite painfully, but if it was because of the wound he'd received from the Heartless or a piece of glass had cut into the flesh, he didn't know. But it was there, following a certain rhythm._

_Throb, throb. _

_In one of the million worlds he'd visited, he'd met an old sage. He had rescued him from some Dancers who had wanted to take his (quite powerful, Riku noticed) heart and, after the explaining, the two men had sit down, Riku to rest after the intense Heartless-killing and the other man to... sit, they had started talking. The old man had confided to the silver-haired boy that he felt the world was out of balance. Riku knew that but he was still amazed that someone without any power would sense something like that. The old man had only been wise (the best thing that one could have; Riku never had the best thing) and they had talked about many things._

_One of these things was the sleep. The man was fascinated with it, with the dreams. "It's interesting how you can be so out of touch with reality," he had said and had explained to Riku about the three phases of sleep._

_Riku didn't remember that much but one detail stood in his mind. During one of the phases his mind was more awake than when the whole body was awake. _

_Riku felt as though he was sleeping and his mind was racing like there was no tomorrow. And he didn't even know what was going on in his mind. He could only see different pictures, part of a whole he couldn't notice. Be it memories, strategies, whatever, he didn't know. _

_But it hurt. It hurt like hell and he hated not knowing why. _

_Throb, throb._

_Feeling vulnerable… he hadn't exactly forgotten what it meant (he'd never) but he had been used to… getting over it, fighting and winning… more or less. _

_It was a strange feeling. _

_Knock, knock. _

_He was watching the ceiling intently, as if waiting for it to fall down. _

_Creak._

_There was someone else in the room now but he didn't move even a muscle: he knew who the visitor was. Soft, bare feet tapped quietly on the floor. The visitor had to be quite cold, Riku noted absentmindedly, closing his eyes and sighing. But the sound was somehow soothing, making him relax, almost against his wishes. His visitor stopped, apparently next to his bed. A few moments passed, neither of them saying anything, not exactly knowing if the other was awake. Riku was determined to stay silent, leave her to talk first._

"_Riku."_

_She wasn't demanding, wasn't sad or anything, just… she. Just standing there, not knowing what to do, waiting him to do something. With his eyes still closed, he decided to answer her in some nonverbal way. _

"_Hmm?" _

_He turned around and, opening his eyes, looked at her, scrutinizing her in the darkness. Her eyes stood out the most, almost glowing, but so was her whole body – she was as white as a ghost (as usual…). Her face seemed tired, he noted, almost making out shadows under her eyes. Her hands weren't smudged with colours, as usual. She was shivering. _

"_I-I know you're angry at me," she stuttered; he almost snorted – anger had never been in the equitation, "b-but I was having n-nightmares and you weren't there a-and-"_

"_Come here," he said, lifting up his blanket and gesturing to her. It was a normal thing for her to have nightmares but it wasn't that often that she came to his bed; more so, she fell asleep either in his lap, either on his shoulder or something like that. She never came to his room for comfort; this was a first. _

_Namine slowly climbed up the bed and nestled herself away from him, as though she was shy. Little annoyed, he extended a hand, draped it over her tiny shoulders and moved her just next to him. For a second, she stiffened but then relaxed onto his shoulder and started falling into light slumber. Riku felt he was going to do the same in a few seconds. _

_Softly, he caressed her forehead, smoothing down the worry lines and smiled almost shyly. The room was gone now, it was cozy and small, only him and Nami._

_Almost asleep now, he wondered whether it was the first time he ever thought of losing her. _

xX…Xx

"Hey, Kairi."

"Mmm?"

"Is it just me or does Riku have something on his mind?"

"… No, you aren't the only one. He has… a lot on his mind these days."

"Ahaa…then what happened to him to make him so quiet?"

"Heartbreak happened."


End file.
